My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
