we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
