She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize