I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
