I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
