mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
