Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
