She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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