whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
