Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Houston, we have a squirter
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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