when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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