I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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