i barfeds in our rink
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
