I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
