my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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