She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
