i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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