Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize