I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
