you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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