i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
