ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
