This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
