I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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