so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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