well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
