I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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