I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize