Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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