btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
