I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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