Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize