he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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