tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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