Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
