Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
