there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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