she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize