therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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