i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
