hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
