Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
