2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
