we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
