I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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