I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
