i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
