You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
