i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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