Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
