oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
