Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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