don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
