forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I will pee on everything he values.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
