I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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