talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize